Do you have a problem gambler in your family?
Does this sound like your family member?
- They gambled money that should have been spent on food, clothes, rent or bills
- They have borrowed money and are unable to repay it
- They gamble their wages as soon as possible
- They lie about their gambling
- They have unexplained absences from home or work
- They are restless and irritable
- They are depressed at times and lack concentration
- They promise to stop but then go and gamble more
This sort of behaviour is common among problem gamblers and very frustrating for family members. Essentially a problem gambler has an insatiable appetite for cash - that's what feeds the addiction. Their thoughts are also filled with gambling, so they may be absent when they should be at a family commitment. Even if they are present they may not participate or may behave strangely.
What can you do?
A number of basic strategies can help family members protect themselves from a problem gambler:
- Encourage the problem gambler to admit they have a problem
- Once they admit they have a problem, encourage them to take active steps to address the problem - such as making an appointment to see a gambling counsellor
- Cut off the gambler's access to cash. No cash = no gambling, but remember that a problem gambler can be very sneaky. You should be in control of the money, not the gambler.
- Help the gambler to accept that they will never recover their gambling losses. Much of a problem gambler's thoughts revolve around how much they want to go back and win what has been lost. They have a desperate hope that their luck will eventually change. This inevitably results in more losses.
- Discourage all forms of gambling
- Seek professional advice or support from a self-help group such as Gam-Anon on how your family can rebuild itself.
More information?
For a clear explanation of problem gambling and what you can do about it, we recommend How to Stop Gambling by Paul Symond, published by Bantam Books.
